Tuesdays with Mark (6: 30-44)

The apostles have just returned from their first missionary tour. Jesus had sent them out (see 6: 7-13) to proclaim the gospel and cast out demons and anoint those who were sick.
Were they ready? No. Did they even know who Jesus was and what he came to do? No. Were they in over their heads? Yes. All that is good news. If Jesus waited until we were finally ready before sending us out we would never go out at all.
Anyway, they have just returned to Jesus and they are telling him “all that they had done and taught.” They are filled with excitement, but they are also exhausted. So, Jesus invites them “to a deserted place all by [them] selves [so that they can] rest a while.” Jesus is very aware that ministry has cost them and that they need some quiet time, some retreat time, some time to recharge.
But his plan is foiled. The people see where Jesus and the 12 are headed and they go en masse to see them. Jesus saw the great crowd and had “compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd.” His concern for the crowd trumped his concern for the 12. Ministry prevailed over retreat time. I imagine that the 12 may have had some resentment about this. I suspect that I would have felt that way if I had been one of them. “No, not more ministry, Jesus. Can’t you give it a rest?” But Jesus doesn’t.
He begins by teaching them. He knows that one of the reasons why they are like lost sheep is that they have not been taught, or at least taught what he has to teach. Maybe the people had no teaching, no instruction; maybe they simply had bad teaching, insufficient instruction. Jesus, though, first feeds and guides their minds and hearts with his words.
At the end of the day the 12 come to him with the practical concern that all these people need to be fed but they don’t have enough provisions for them. They want Jesus to send them away. They might still be looking for that quiet time with Jesus. He sees that the people need to be fed, but instead of sending them away he says, “You give them something to eat.” The disciples are not pleased. They remonstrate with him: “Are we going to go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread, and give it to them to eat?” This amount was about what the usual worker could earn in about 8 months—it was a huge amount. What Jesus is asking them to do doesn’t make any sense. Of course, they don’t have enough. Jesus needs to see this. Does he? No. Instead he asks them what they do have and they tell him 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. In other words, they have 1 loaf for every 1,000 people and maybe a fish bone for every 100th person. Paltry. Not enough. Makes no sense.
But it is enough. Somehow it is. This is also good news for us. How often in our lives do we feel like we don’t have enough—enough love, enough sense, enough time, enough patience, enough experience, enough hope, enough grace. On our own we often don’t. We are limited. We cannot do it all. But then we need to remember and claim that it is not all about us, that we have someone who can help and who can bless us and guide us and lead us to do great and wonderful things.
Jesus took the 5 loaves and 2 fish, he blessed the snack, he broke it, and then he gave it out. This is the same sequence of verbs that we see in the Last Supper where and when Jesus took the bread and wine, and then blessed, broke, and shared it (see Mark 14: 22f). The actions that Jesus does with and 5 loaves and 2 fish, and then with the bread and wine at the Last Supper are the same actions that he desires to do with us. He wants to take us, bless us, break us, and then share us.
Everyone gets fed. The story concludes by telling us that 5,000 men were fed, not to mention how many women and children may have also been fed. There are even some leftovers.
The story invites us right into that moment of feeling like we don’t have enough, just like the disciples. Jesus asks us just to bring what we have, even if it feels rather inadequate. With his blessing our gift will be enough. Trust that. He has great work for us to do, work we can only do with Him. That is called faith.
Jesus first fed the folks his words, and then he fed them real bread. We are here for teaching and feeding, for proclaiming the Word and serving the folks.
Each one of the 12 walked away from this event with a whole basket of leftovers. They didn’t get the retreat time that they wanted, but they did receive what they needed.